This was an interesting weekend in Anchorage. It all started Thursday night. Picture this .....
It was about 10:00 PM, and I was sitting on the couch reading the dreadful book Watership Down. As I am forcing myself to process the crap Adams put into the kindling I hear some strange and extrememly active noises coming from the cats. I sit further up, look over the back of the couch towards the kitchen and I see Achilles with something in his mouth and Lenore batting at it. I get up to go check it out. As I move closer to the cats Lenore bats the thing out of Achilles mouth and I see this little grey thing scurry around the apartment with the cats in fast pursuit of it. Half way across the living room Achilles catches the thing again and starts shaking it around in his mouth. Lenore runs up to Achilles, sniffs the thing and tries to take it from him. Well, Achilles isn't having it so he walks off with the grey thing still in his mouth. Lenore cuts him off and once again bats the thing out of Achilles mouth. By this point I'm totally girling out and have contemplated jumping on top of the ottoman, but I realized that was stupid because obviously my cats were more interested in play catch and release, and catch again, instead of killing the damn thing. Achilles had chased the grey thing back over to near where I was standing where he caught it, again. Lenore still convinced that she should be the one playing it, batted it out of Achilles mouth a third time. This time the grey thing did not scurry away. After all it had been through it was no longer moving with the swagger and speed of a drunken graduate student on drown night. It had taken to stumbling in circles and did not see, to care about getting away. Lenore pushed it over and it struggled to get back up on its feet. I felt sorry for the thing and determined that it should be put out of its misery. I picked up the most sturdy object nearest me, which happened to be a small little Eureka hand vacuum and I gave the little thing two swift whacks with the vacuum. The cats had taken a new interest in the now dead thing, and still wanted to play with it. I shooed the cats away and went to get some paper towels. When I turned around to pick up the dead thing I see Lenore strutting off with it in her mouth. I'm chasing her around the apartment trying to the thing away from her and to dispose of it. Finally she dropped it, and I picked it up and threw it away. Before I disposed of it, I started looking it over and realized that this tiny little thing with super speed was a shrew. It was actually kind of cute, for a dead, squished, and bloody furball. Now, I am not proud of this moment, and feel awfully bad for the little guy, but homeboy had invaded my turf. More than anything the cats had tortured it, and you could tell he was in distress. It seemed like a more humane option at the time rather him having him die a slow painful death in the paws of my sadistic cats. I wish I could say this was the end of my shrew tail (see what I did there?), but sadly it is not. Flash forward to Saturday morning. The shrew from Thursday is dead and has long been disposed of, and there have not been any further signs of other shrews hanging about. As I am getting ready to head out shopping I hear that cats scurrying around the apartment what sounded like a frenzy. When I walk into the living room I find both Achilles and Lenore with their noses pressed firmly against the ottoman. I figured that had chased one of their toy mice underneath it and it had gone out of their reach. I pushed the ottoman away so they can get their toy, but I was surprised. What I was expecting was a fake furry mouse. What I found instead was a swift moving grey thing. Another shrew. That bastard. Apparently he didn't get the memo after his friend was killed. So this new shrew scurries to the back of the apartment with both cats in fast pursuit of him. The little guy runs into the hall closet, and is hiding behind the dresser in there. The cats are frustrated because they want to get to it, but there is no way for the to, so I pull out the bottom drawer of the dresser, and the bottom drawer of the plastic drawers I have in there as well. Then I pull the dresser about a foot away from the wall. The cats now have full access to get to the shrew from either side of the dresser. Achilles, being the brave and noble-ish asshole that he is goes behind the dresser from the left side. He's back there for about 30 seconds and I can hear his body hitting against the dresser. Lenore is waiting for him on the other side of the dresser. This is the side Achilles exits from, carrying the shrew in his mouth. As always, Lenore is eager to play with the little creature, but before she has a chance to bat it away from Achilles, the asshole sneezes and drops the shrew, allowing him to scurry away. I searched up and down my apartment. I pulled drawers out, cleared out the closets, pulled dressers and shelves away from the walls, and still there was no sign of the shrew. I decided that since I had to go shopping anyway I would pick up some traps and set them to catch the shrew. To be honest, both cats are capable of mousing (or shrewing), but they lack the necessary follow through. They've lived the cushioned life for too long. I assumed shrews could be trapped like mice can, but I figured I'd look it up just to be sure. After an in depth Google search I learned a lot about shrews. The quick and dirty (just the way grandpa likes it) of trapping shrews is that yes, you can use the same kind of trap for a shrew that you would for a mouse, as long as it is a snap trap. Sticky traps or live traps don't work for them because shrews are vicious animals that will gnaw their own legs/tails off to get away. I can understand that, because I've been on a few dates where I've considered doing the same thing. You can't use poison traps either because they do not find these kind of traps tempting. When using snap traps you cannot use the same bate you would for a mouse. It's recommended to use small pieces of hot dog, bologna, or bacon. Shrews are carnivorous that can take down other animals five times their size, and in extreme moments they will eat other shrews. It's also very bad if you get bitten by one because they have venom in their saliva .... OH BOY! So with all this information in mind, I add snap traps and bologna to my shopping list and set off to Fred Meye's. There was a little part of me that was hoping that while I was gone the cats would find the little guy and take him out. When I get back from Freddy's there is no sign of the shrew being caught and killed, so I put away the groceries and supplies, cut two small pieces of bologna and set the traps. I learned that with shrews you need to put the open end of the snap trap against a wall to encourage the shrews to actually step into the trap. Apparently they are smart little buggers. So I set the traps, and try to teach the cats that they are bad things they should never go near. At this point I decide to tidy up the apartment, and I start by picking up all the cat toys. I push away the ottoman to find any toys they have scattered underneath there. As I push the ottoman away I find the shrew. He's dead and it looks like he bled out. Poor little guy. At least the cats did what they were supposed to do. But once again the cats are all about this dead shrew, and I had to fight Achilles off of it so I could pick it up with a paper towel and throw it away. I've had the traps set since Saturday (3 days) and as of Tuesday there have not been anymore shrew sightings nor have either of the traps been set off. This may be the end of the shrews, but in case it's not I am prepared. They call me, The Shrew Killer.
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I've decided to stop putting all recipes in one post, and keep them in their own individual posts. I figured this will make searching for posts easier. First up, I have One Pot Chili Mac and Cheese. Pass on this one, as it is. I would recommend cooking the pasts separate, and serve this by dishing the pasta into a bowl and topping with the chili mixture. I realize this will no longer make this a one pot meal. My reasoning for suggesting this is that as the recipe is the pasta comes out gooey and overdone, and this only gets worse the longer it sits in the chili mixture. The pasta became so gooey that the leftovers were dreadful. The recipe you see below is altered to be a two pot meal where the pasta is cooked on its own. This recipe in it's original form (one pot) 1 out of 5
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On the faded Island Books sign hanging over the porch of the Victorian cottage is the motto "No Man Is an Island; Every Book Is a World." A. J. Fikry, the irascible owner, is about to discover just what that truly means. A. J. Fikry's life is not at all what he expected it to be. His wife has died, his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history, and now his prized possession, a rare collection of Poe poems, has been stolen. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island-from Lambiase, the well-intentioned police officer who's always felt kindly toward Fikry; from Ismay, his sister-in-law who is hell-bent on saving him from his dreary self; from Amelia, the lovely and idealistic (if eccentric) Knightley Press sales rep who keeps on taking the ferry over to Alice Island, refusing to be deterred by A.J.'s bad attitude. Even the books in his store have stopped holding pleasure for him. These days, A.J. can only see them as a sign of a world that is changing too rapidly. And then a mysterious package appears at the bookstore. It's a small package, but large in weight. It's that unexpected arrival that gives A. J. Fikry the opportunity to make his life over, the ability to see everything anew. It doesn't take long for the locals to notice the change overcoming A.J.; or for that determined sales rep, Amelia, to see her curmudgeonly client in a new light; or for the wisdom of all those books to become again the lifeblood of A.J.'s world; or for everything to twist again into a version of his life that he didn't see coming. As surprising as it is moving, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry is an unforgettable tale of transformation and second chances, an irresistible affirmation of why we read, and why we love. I can never stress just how beautiful this book is. I'm not a fan of romance novels, and this books does have quiet a bit of cliches, but it's easy to see past that to the true relationships between A.J. and the few people who are essential in his life. The book reads as if it is a piles of notes that A.J. is writing to his adopted daughter, Maya. The ending was very unexpected for me, in a good way. Think of A.J.'s story as a mild romance novel from the POV of a guy. It's a quick and easy read, but well worth it. The book also mentions a lot of other books and authors (all real) that I found myself checking out and many I plan on reading at some point. I give this a 5 out of 5. A phenomenal worldwide bestseller for over thirty years, Richard Adams'sWatership Down is a timeless classic and one of the most beloved novels of all time. Set in England's Downs, a once idyllic rural landscape, this stirring tale of adventure, courage and survival follows a band of very special creatures on their flight from the intrusion of man and the certain destruction of their home. Led by a stouthearted pair of friends, they journey forth from their native Sandleford Warren through the harrowing trials posed by predators and adversaries, to a mysterious promised land and a more perfect society. Reading Watership Down was like being on a very bad first date that will not end. I've never said this before: Skip the book and watch the animated film instead. Before I start ranting about this, let me say that I am happy that I finally read this as an adult. My father let me watch the movie when I was probably still too young to watch it or understand it, but I've enjoyed it. It was finally time to reconnect with the book. After reading it, I am left with mixed feelings. I struggled to get into the story, but once I did I was loving it, and then it hit this lull that I found it a challenge to continue with it, followed by page turning interest, and into another lull. I had a very up and down relationship with this book. All this negativity said, I loved the oral history of the rabbits, and reading the stories Adams had created about how they became the "Prince of a Thousand Enemies", and basically what is the religion of rabbits. The biggest thing that upset me about the book, and I had to continue to remind myself to consider the era, but even for a book released in 1975, I did not expect the portrayal to be as bad as it was. I struggle to understand how blatantly sexist this book was. Yes, I do realize this is a story about rabbits, and rabbits are notorious for their humping, but it was disappointing to see that Adams could only portray the females rabbits as breeding stock. Throughout the book the male rabbits kept remarking that they needed female rabbits for mating. As though they could not contribute anything else to the warren. Adams could have cut the page count in half, taken out big chunks of needless detail or over detailing, and had an outstanding story left afterwards. I give this a 2 out of 5. This weekend I only made three different things, but all of them were spot on.
Biscuits and Gravy Casserole: This was delightful! I was a little concerned the gravy was going to be too thin or there would be too much for the pan, and no enough biscuits, but I was very wrong about that. I didn't cut this recipe in half because how do you half a tin of biscuits? I used buttered biscuits and that worked out perfect. This recipe will feed about four people, which is perfect because it gave me breakfast for the entire weekend, plus Monday and Tuesday. 5 out of 5 Jambalaya: This was great! Perfectly spiced for me. The only thing I did differently is that I left out the okra, because apparently Anchorage doesn't sell that here, not even frozen, at least during the winter months. The other thing I could not find was Andouille sausage in town either, so I substituted with Chorizo sausage instead .... That was a mistake, but not the worst option. I took a chance and made the full recipe so I could freeze part of it and have quick/easy dinners on long work days. Even with that though, I will still be eating Jambalaya through a majority of this week. Luckily this was a great recipe and turned out great. #NoRegrets I like the spiciness of this, but when I post the recipe I will indicate which items can be taken out or substituted if you want a spice free jambalaya. I used basmati rice for this and it worked well. 5 out of 5 Easy Garlic Parmesan Breadsticks (Little Caesars Knock-Off): These were so easy and so delicious! They went very well with the jambalaya. Easy to do and they taste great. They're not exactly like Little Caesars, but they're pretty dang close. 4 out of 5 IT'S RECIPE TIME! Biscuits and Gravy Casserole: Ingredients
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Jambalaya *Items that can be removed or substituted for a non-spicy version Ingredients
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Easy Garlic Breadsticks (Little Caesars knock-off): Ingredients
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September 2016
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